Can't Hide the Scars
by TeamPondians
Summary: (I'm warning you now, this has references to cutting/self harm. You've been warned. Rated T because of that!) {Smillan rpf too!} Karen is extremely unhappy living in America, she doesn't want to tell anyone back in England though, she's worried about what they might think. More chapters to come! Read Review please! :)
1. Chapter One

Hi to anyone who has opened this...right, if you read my other story 'Unexpected' then i'm sorry for the huge wait! I'm writing two chapters but i've had really **really** bad writers block, so I just took this from my tumblr for you guys, it's a work in progress! hope you like it! review please! xo

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**Chapter One:**

She knows she misses everyone, she's too scared to admit that she absolutely hates it in America. She feels like she's going to ruin it for everyone, make them all worried and miserable, she can't do that to them.

She receives a text from Alex;  
**Hey Karen, i'm in America. Catch up for a cuppa? A x  
**She texts back;  
**Hey Alex, i'm feeling a little sick, but a catch up would be great! My apartment? K** **x**  
A few minutes later her phone buzzes;  
**Sounds great, be there in 10. A x**

She makes her way into the kitchen, removing all of the empty boxes of pills. Next is the bathroom, removing the razor as Alex would, no doubt need to use the bathroom and she's extremely observant. The only thing she couldn't hide. The scars. _What if Alex somehow finds out? What I've been doing? She would tell Matt no doubt and then he would be extremely worried and frustrated that he's filming, what have I done? I'm so selfish. _To break her out of her reverie, there came a knock on the door.

She opened up the door, trying her best to conjure her emotions to neutral.  
"Karen! How I have missed you!" Alex beamed. She tried to smile, but failed. Of course Alex noticed, and she knew there was something up, normally she would be extremely happy to see her, but all she could manage was a dreary smile.  
"Karen, what's the matter?"  
"Oh, nothing. Come in will just make us a cuppa." with that she walked into the kitchen, Alex not far behind. She just about flipped the switch on the kettle before bursting out in tears. Alex, came running over to her, just as she collapsed into her arms.

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Okay, I hope you liked that..I don't really know, it was requested on Tumblr so that's what I wrote! More chapters to come! Review/Favorite/Follow if you like it! They make me happy and keep me writing! :) xo


	2. Chapter Two

Yeah this chapter was already written so I thought I might as well upload it! :) So next installment in this story, hope you all like it! xo

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'Shhh, shhh i'm here Karen,' Alex cooed, willing Karen to stop crying. Eventually her sobs subsided, _time to come clean_ she thought.  
'Alex, I have been down for weeks now, I didn't want to say anything because he seems happy-'  
'Who? Karen, is this about Mr Smith?'  
'Is it that obvious?' she asks, a weak smile tugging at her lips.  
'No, but I just knew it had to be something along those lines, Karen i'm worried.'  
'Don't be i'm fine.' Karen says, trying her hardest to sound reassuring.  
Alex excuses herself to the bathroom.

_I hope every empty box is gone…_  
'Karen, come here.' Alex says, her voice echoing from the bathroom.  
Karen walks into her bathroom, dread displayed on her features.  
'Please tell me you haven't…?' Alex says, worrying for her friend.  
_I have..I'm so so sorry please don't tell anyone.. _she wants to say but all that leaves her mouth is;  
'I'm sorry…'  
'Why?..because of him? what's he don-'  
'Nothing. He's done nothing-I've done nothing.'  
'Come and sit down.' Alex says, getting hold of her wrist and Karen flinches._Shit shit shit I should **not** have done that. _she thinks.  
Realization dawns on Alex's face. Under those long sleeves are weeks and weeks of crying, of longing for him, they speak of pain and loss. _I love him and I've lost him._ Alex rolls the sleeves up, inspecting Karen's scars, sighing deeply she says;  
'Why didn't you tell me? I thought you trusted me-'  
'I do.'  
'Then why?'  
'Because I love him, I love him and I've lost him-'  
'How do you know?'  
'I just do, why would he love me? He has Jenna-'  
'Jenna doesn't compare to you in his eyes.'  
'You're lying to make me feel better.'  
'I'm not.'  
'Are.'  
'Do you want proof?' Alex says, reaching for her phone.  
'Nononononono you can't tell him!' Karen yells, taking Alex's phone.  
'Arthur then.'  
'No, none.' Karen says, sitting on the couch, squeezing her phone.  
'Okay go and make a fresh pot of tea then.' Alex says, smiling at her.  
Karen places Alex's phone on the table and does exactly what Alex told her to, zombie-like.  
Unbeknownst to Karen, Alex texts Arthur;  
**Don't panic, Karen's having a hard time here in LA and I think what she needs now is her two closest friends, you and Matt. A x  
**The reply is almost instant;  
**Alex what's happened? I can't not panic! I'm getting hold of Matt and we are travelling out there instantly, I don't care at what cost, we are coming to LA for our Moonhead. A x  
**Alex smiles at that response, _they really do care for her, bless them_ Alex thinks. Karen walks in with two piping hot cups of tea, placing them down on the coasters Matt bought her as a 'apartment warming present' that he thought 'every new apartment needed' and 'shut up Gillan, they are not ancient they're antique!' Karen smiled at the memories, half expecting him to be sat next to her on the couch, her smile fading at the reality of him still being in the UK.

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Hope you liked this chapter! Remember reviews make me happy! :)  
New chapter soon! xo


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